Monday, July 16, 2007

8 (!) years ago this morning I heard The Voice for the first time.

Spankable Butts & Angel Voices

Then that Vision in a Cleveland Indians hat

I'm still Loyal to that Voice, that Vision, that Friend.

I would still help her Bury The Body. I would.



Saturday, June 23, 2007

Steve, if you still monitor this .... communication w/ another:

Randy told me I should tell you, that you deserve to know ... this is so hard it hurts so much. In addition to my quest for She Who You Don't Know (but you think it's sooooooooooo funny and pathetic, and maybe it is) and all the other problems:

Megan died on June 2, 2005. She drowned. In Minnesota. She had been 38 for only 18 days. She's buried here. It is an open wound, as is M.

Imagine: Sh at 39, my best friend. E. blew his brains out at 37; 2nd closest friend. Meggie at 38. The sequence, you see.

When my mother gives up the ghost, and she's 80 and in a wheelchair, I'm out of here. I have all that I need. Nice that Kervorkian is out, but I won't need him.

Unless M. saves me. Simple as that.

But Megan is dead. Tell your ex, she should know, too.

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Jesus God.

Monday, April 16, 2007

I Love You, Marie. Still.

Please come Home.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Lennon/McCartneyThis happened once before,When I came to your door,No reply.They said it wasn't you,But I saw you peep through your window,I saw the light, I saw the light,I know that you saw me,'cause I looked up to see your face.I tried to telephone,They said you were not home,That's a lie,'cause I know where you've been,I saw you walk in your door,I nearly died, I nearly died,'cause you walked hand in handWith another man in my place.If I were you'd realize that ILove you more than any other guy,And I'll forgive the lies that IHeard before when you gave me no reply.I've tried to telephone,They said you were not home,That's a lie,'cause I know where you've been,I saw you walk in your door,I nearly died, I nearly died,'cause you walked hand in handWith another man in my place.No reply, no reply.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thou wast all that to me, love,
For which my soul did pine-
A green isle in the sea, love,
A fountain and a shrine,
All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers,
And all the flowers were mine.

Ah, dream too bright to last!
Ah, starry Hope! that didst arise
But to be overcast!
A voice from out the Future cries,
"On! on!"- but o'er the Past
(Dim gulf!) my spirit hovering lies
Mute, motionless, aghast!

For, alas! alas! me
The light of Life is o'er!
"No more- no more- no more-"
(Such language holds the solemn sea
To the sands upon the shore)
Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree
Or the stricken eagle soar!

And all my days are trances,
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy grey eye glances,
And where thy footstep gleams-
In what ethereal dances,
By what eternal streams.

Edgar Allan Poe: Poems of Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE; -
And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and She was a child, In this kingdom by the sea, But we loved with a love that was more than love - I and my ANNABEL LEE - With a love that the wing├ęd seraphs of Heaven Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud by night Chilling my ANNABEL LEE; So that her high-born kinsmen came And bore her away from me, To shut her up, in a sepulchre In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven, Went envying her and me; Yes! that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud, chilling And killing my ANNABEL LEE.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we - Of many far wiser than we - And neither the angels in Heaven above Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE: -
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE; And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride In her sepulchre there by the sea - In her tomb by the side of the sea.

Monday, November 20, 2006

... faggy, yes, but it spoke to me; about YOU

"Have a seat....relax...and read this slowly.
It kind a sums it all up..........

I believe - That we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I believe - That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while and
you must forgive them for that.

I believe - That true friendship continues to grow, even
over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe - That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I believe - That it's taking me a long time to become
the person I want to be.

I believe - That you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe - That you can keep going long after you think can't.

I believe - That we are responsible for what we do, no
matter how we feel.

I believe - That either you control your attitude or it
controls you.

I believe - That regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first, the passion fades and
there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe - That heroes are the people who do what has
to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of consequences.

I believe - That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe - That my best friend and I can do anything or
nothing and have the best time.

I believe - That sometimes the people you expect to kick
you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe - That sometimes when I'm angry I have the
right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe - That just because someone doesn't love you
the way you want them to doesn't mean they
don't love you with all they have.

I believe - That maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you've had and what you've learned
from them and less to do with how many birthdays
you've celebrated.

I believe - That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe - That no matter how bad your heart is broken the
world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe - That our background and circumstances may have
influenced who we are, but we are responsible for
who we become.

I believe - That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I believe - That two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I believe - That your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I believe - That even when you think you have no more to
give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find
the strength to help.

I believe - That credentials on the wall do not make you a
decent human being.

I believe - That the people you care about most in life are
taken from you too soon.

I believe -That you should send this to all of the people
that you believe in.

And I just did."