Steve, if you still monitor this .... communication w/ another: Randy told me I should tell you, that you deserve to know ... this is so hard it hurts so much. In addition to my quest for She Who You Don't Know (but you think it's sooooooooooo funny and pathetic, and maybe it is) and all the other problems: Megan died on June 2, 2005. She drowned. In Minnesota. She had been 38 for only 18 days. She's buried here. It is an open wound, as is M. Imagine: Sh at 39, my best friend. E. blew his brains out at 37; 2nd closest friend. Meggie at 38. The sequence, you see. When my mother gives up the ghost, and she's 80 and in a wheelchair, I'm out of here. I have all that I need. Nice that Kervorkian is out, but I won't need him. Unless M. saves me. Simple as that. But Megan is dead. Tell your ex, she should know, too.