Nobody's listening, of course ... Nobody who would understand, but ... I said about her, from the very beginning, that: 1) Someone, probably a man, probably a pervert, HURT her very, very badly, somewhere along the line and as a result of that hurt, she feels she has to get even with the rest of us -- even if we're innocent and well-meaning and kind and truly love and care about her -- she has to "mindfuck" and hurt and punish. This is her revenge on the person she trusted and harmed her, probably as a child or teen, and all of us are surrogates, innocent or no. And ... 2) I believe this with all my heart: She wants all the priviledges and benefits of friendship but none of the responsibility. It's cold, but also tragic. She is essentially a very tragic figure, IMHO. And of course these 2 lead to her not only hurting and belittling others, it also hurts her. Because all her behavior is designed to do one thing: to hurt herself and reinforce negative feelings about herself and thus prove she is "right" about being "bad". It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. All that she does and is into centers around that self-fulfilling prophecy. And the tragedy of it is, of course, is that it is WRONG. Underneath all that she is a good, decent, caring, worthwhile person. But she doesn't want to believe it. It would fuck up her whole world to believe that. She's afraid to believe anything else about herself; it's all she knows. And it's so sad ... So she belittles herself, allows herself to be used, sets a price upon what shouldn't have a price, hurts others, pretends, exhibits, lies, "mindfucks" ... sick toys and sick games all designed to prove to herself that whatever happened to her, she deserved it (she did not) and she is bad (she is not). And it's tragic. So sad it brings tears to my eyes ... But I'm here, and will be here as long as my health allows me. I am here for her. Should she wise up. I promised, you see. I love her. No questions asked. Matthew 16:26 "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"