Thursday, May 13, 2004

No, I don't. Not even a smidgeon. I feel sorry for her. More so, now, knowing what I know (which I'll never tell beyond vague generalities and the petty little clues here). How could I not?

And, as I've said repeatedly, I don't believe she's to blame, necessarily. She's a very sick, weak, damaged little girl and should be cut some slack, I believe.

And, of course, I still and will always love her. Not romantically, sort of fraternally, really. I hurt for her. I weep for her. And I am her friend, should she ever wish to act on that or even if she does not.

I kept my word. I didn't betray her, even though I think she thinks I did (that email never received). I tried to patch things up, to make peace. My heart may ache but my conscience is clear. I was never anything but that girl's friend; quite possibly the only decent male she has ever known. No brag, it's just the truth. And I love her still. I think about her every day and pray for her often. So sue me.